


Real

by Dolimir



Category: Smallville
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-19
Updated: 2011-06-19
Packaged: 2017-10-20 13:52:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolimir/pseuds/Dolimir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for <i>Pariah</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Real

Clark never realized that pain could be so all consuming. He tried to fill his days with schoolwork and chores, but the monotony of small town life did little to soothe him. More and more often, he found himself in the loft, simply tossing a ball against the wall and catching it, losing himself in the rhythm of sounds. After a few days, as he knew they would, his parents came and sought him out, but he found he had no stomach for their platitudes or self-righteousness.

Their presence spurred him to get away, but guilt about his past kept him from doing anything too rash. He had tried running, but whether he found himself in Florida, Nova Scotia or Chile the emptiness within him remained and threatened to consume him.

So he was surprised when he found himself standing outside of Lex’s study, with no memory of sneaking through the gates or entering the house.

It had been ages since he had visited Lex. In fact, he wasn’t even sure if they were still friends.

“Are you going to lurk in my hallway all night?”

Clark could feel himself blush, but resolutely stood his ground. “I was considering it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Sure. Mi casa es su casa.”

Clark took a step forward and hesitantly stopped in the open doorway. Lex was lounging in his leather desk chair, openly regarded him.

“Tired of running?”

Clark’s heart thumped so loudly in his chest he was surprised that Lex didn’t comment on the sound. Instead, he just nodded.

“It’s been my experience that no matter where you go, there you are, so there’s really no point in running.”

Humor broke over him, but instead of being warm by it, he found it to be all sharp and jagged. “That’s really deep, Lex.”

Lex shrugged.

Clark held Lex’s gaze for a while, then decided his time could be better served by studying his shoes.

“I made you my best man, twice. Even if you only showed up once.”

“I know.” Clark couldn’t bring himself to meet Lex’s eyes.

“I’m just saying…”

The accusation lay silent between them.

“It wasn’t legal,” Clark mumbled.

“Sure it was. The age of consent in Kansas is sixteen, and you were both eighteen.”

Shock screamed through Clark’s body and he found that despite his strength, he was having trouble keeping on his feet. He started when Lex wrapped an arm around his waist and led him to the couch by the fireplace.

“It couldn’t have been.”

“But it was.” Lex sat beside him. “And you loved her.”

“Yes.” Clark’s voice was raw with the admission.

“And she loved you?”

Clark nodded.

Lex shrugged nonchalantly, although Clark knew that Lex had his own jagged edges. “So you’re real now.”

Memories of a children’s story his mother used to read him came to Clark in a flash.

“I didn’t realize it would hurt so much.”

“I know. But you’re lucky, Clark.”

“How can you say that?”

Lex smiled at him. “Most people never get to experience what you did.”

“What are you talking about? People fall in love and get married all the time.”

“But you aren’t most people, Clark. Neither was she.” Panic surged through Clark, but Lex kept talking. “Real is a thing that happens to a person when they’re truly accepted for who they are and loved.”

Clark’s eyes burned and he clenched his teeth in an attempt to control his grief.

“It doesn’t happen all at once. It takes time. That’s why it doesn’t happen to people who break easily or who have to be carefully kept. A lot of times people don’t notice the change, which is why they didn’t believe you when you told them she was different. But you understood her, just as she understood you.”

“But I didn’t believe her when it counted.” Clark dropped his head into his hands. “She didn’t know how I felt. She didn’t know.”

Lex gently rubbed Clark’s back. “Yes, she did.”

Turning his head to face Lex, Clark wiped the unshed tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. “How can you be so sure?”

Lex wrapped an arm around Clark’s shoulders and squeezed him once. “Trust me this one time, Clark. She knew.”

Tears fell freely down his face as the grief within finally shattered. He had no idea how long they sat in Lex’s den, but the fire was out when he finally opened his eyes again.

“Lex?”

Fingers wrapped in his hair. “Yes, Clark.”

“Will we ever be real to one another?”

A hand flitted over Clark’s eyes until he shut them. “Perhaps,” Lex said softly. “Perhaps.”


End file.
